Tony Montana and a big ol pile of coke
Indiscriminate Rambling, YouTube

Maybe I Should Just Try Cocaine

Losing weight is hard. Losing weight is not fun. But the results are worth it. I think?

A month ago I began my 3rd attempt at Weight Watchers. My first was in 2011, which was very successful – I lost about 40 pounds on WW alone. I subsequently kicked my shit into high gear after a devastating breakup in early 2012 in which I was told that my weight was a determining factor. But like, I weigh less now than when we started dating???? Dudes are the undisputed fucking worst. I eventually lost a total of 90 pounds from WW, working out and general calorie counting.

Life happened (a happy relationship happened to be more exact) and I gained some of that weight back. But I told myself that no matter what, I would NEVER go back to my highest weight.

My second attempt was in 2016, this time with my partner Zach and we both lost about 20 pounds in 3 months of doing the online-only version of Weight Watchers. Then thanksgiving rolled around and then Christmas¬†and then… You know how this goes.

2017 was a tough year for me. Lots of changes and a major loss led to me¬†dealing with depression for the first time in my life. I’m talking about barely getting out of bed, wearing pajamas for days on end, going to McDonald’s multiple times in a day depression. Shit was rough. I hated how I looked and how I ate but felt unable to do anything about it. I finally got my shit together and started therapy, and as the smoke of my depression started to clear, I found my self weighing 25 pounds more than my previous highest weight. The weight I said I’d never, ever surpass again. Welp.

So on February 28th of this year, I jumped back on the Weight Watcher wagon. Sure, I could just calorie count and spend 0.00 dollars, but I need external motivation. I have negative will power right now. I need the motivation to leave my house and get weighed in front of another person that isn’t me or my partner who doesn’t really care what I weigh (bless him). And you know, whatever works, right? I do think that at some point CICO will be just fine, but I need a jumpstart.

Another way I am keeping myself accountable is documenting the progress on my YouTube channel. I’ve made a playlist and everything. Check it out: