Tony Montana and a big ol pile of coke
Indiscriminate Rambling, YouTube

Maybe I Should Just Try Cocaine

Losing weight is hard. Losing weight is not fun. But the results are worth it. I think?

A month ago I began my 3rd attempt at Weight Watchers. My first was in 2011, which was very successful – I lost about 40 pounds on WW alone. I subsequently kicked my shit into high gear after a devastating breakup in early 2012 in which I was told that my weight was a determining factor. But like, I weigh less now than when we started dating???? Dudes are the undisputed fucking worst. I eventually lost a total of 90 pounds from WW, working out and general calorie counting.

Life happened (a happy relationship happened to be more exact) and I gained some of that weight back. But I told myself that no matter what, I would NEVER go back to my highest weight.

My second attempt was in 2016, this time with my partner Zach and we both lost about 20 pounds in 3 months of doing the online-only version of Weight Watchers. Then thanksgiving rolled around and then Christmas and then… You know how this goes.

2017 was a tough year for me. Lots of changes and a major loss led to me dealing with depression for the first time in my life. I’m talking about barely getting out of bed, wearing pajamas for days on end, going to McDonald’s multiple times in a day depression. Shit was rough. I hated how I looked and how I ate but felt unable to do anything about it. I finally got my shit together and started therapy, and as the smoke of my depression started to clear, I found my self weighing 25 pounds more than my previous highest weight. The weight I said I’d never, ever surpass again. Welp.

So on February 28th of this year, I jumped back on the Weight Watcher wagon. Sure, I could just calorie count and spend 0.00 dollars, but I need external motivation. I have negative will power right now. I need the motivation to leave my house and get weighed in front of another person that isn’t me or my partner who doesn’t really care what I weigh (bless him). And you know, whatever works, right? I do think that at some point CICO will be just fine, but I need a jumpstart.

Another way I am keeping myself accountable is documenting the progress on my YouTube channel. I’ve made a playlist and everything. Check it out:

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